“Adrift aglow
Hitherto, supine on starry reprose
Semimute
Silk soul dig your fading root
Dust decay
Deliquesce flux figure
With tongues and vowels obscured
Frozen frame
Respite reprieve
Ask for more
Ask for more
Ask for more
Ask for more
Ask for more
Ask for more
Ask for more
Ask for more
Ask for more
Ask for more

Now, I’m a patient person, but surely you can understand and pardon my persistence. If you want me to take a step back or two all you have to do is ask. I don’t want to impose. When I met you, I wore you like a mollusk wears its shell. I used you, dragged you around, made you my sanctuary. Without you I’m naked. I writhe in the sand like a naked child, my legs furiously kick back and forth as if swimming through the air. The sun’s burning my skin. Its light is inside my skull, illuminating every single wrinkle of my brain, focusing all my reflections in burning phosphorescence that obliterates my body. My ankles are drowning in plasma. My skin is being swallowed by hot steam. My mind is bleeding. It’s falling out of my asshole and landing on the floor with a retchworthy “plop” sound. I’m frightened. I need you.

Whose photo did you take?
Whose eyes did you see?
Whose hands did you hold?
Whose face did you touch?
Whose prick was in your hand?
Whose cock was in your cunt?
Who the fuck were you talking to?
I can’t believe you did that
You astonishing piece of shit

In the morning, there’s always a certain kind of transient clarity. All of the transgressions of the previous night seem as distant as ships in the morning disappearing over the horizon. I carry on with my day, kicking pebbles across the limestone, and then my mistakes are sucked back into me like a fleshy kick to the cock. My cells shudder in uniform paroxysms and float away in miasmic explosion. The air forms a gumball sized cyst in the center of my lung. In a moment of pure lucidity I realize there is nothing stopping me from emptying my skull all over the pavement, the entire pavement. My body would fall down like a sack of stupid flesh onto the sidewalk caked with chunks of my cerebrum, nourishing the rats and insects. But I reject this. I do not accept this.

But with a wave of your finger
And with a twinkle in your eye
You’re there
On every hill
On every tree
In every closet
In every store
On every bed
On every road
In every dream
In every world
Stupid cunt I fuck the moon shit

It’s all my fault. My mistakes have led me here, to this burning moment, this desultory exchange of throats and mirrors. This maudlin dog-and-pony show. When I took that train, when I held your shape, when I took that bus back home, twisted and shriveled like an overripe fruit in the atrophied morning sun squeezing braids of sweat from my brow, my eyes dreamy and depraved, anodyne and abhorrent, and the only thing I could think about was the velvet touch of your hands, and the smile stretching beyond the very contours of your face, and the violet sparks bursting behind your eyes, I hung my head, and I cried. I lamented my selfishness.

Crush my fingers until I cannot grasp
Rip my jaw so cries can’t spill
Slice the sinew off of my bones
Choke the light out of my eyes
Suck the worms out of my cunt
Shatter my spine on the moonrocks outside

I’m not worth shitshine and water-knife
I’m not worth roadkill burdened asphalt
I’m not worth pissed jeans and kicked chairs
I’m not worth the cloudy film on top of plastic yogurt cups
I’m not worth rainwater collecting at the bottom of putrid trash bags
I’m not worth clouds of chlorine pissing down mustard yellow chalk

I’m not worth it
You’re not worth it
I’m not worthy
You’re not worthy

Worthless
I’m worthless
Worthless
I’m worthless
Worthless
I’m worthless
Worthless
I’m worthless
Worthless
I’m worthless”